Black Beauty According to Spike Milligan - Milligan, Spike

I never felt more like kicking so I kicked him in the goolies and they swelled up like melons. He had to put the harness on me while balancing his balls with one hand and could only move very slowly. In time I got used to everything (and he got used to swollen balls) and I could do my work as well as my mother. I used to wash up after dinner.